Scouting and Berating the Competition

Now that I've inspired a certain amount of fear into the rest of the league, I need to scout some of these teams.

I already know one cat, who calls himself "THE J AND L SNIPERS" is going to be very tough to beat, since he has half of my team from last year and the abrasive asshole persona to match yours truly. But he may not even be the most fearsome team in the league!!! I'll get to that guy in a bit,

First, my absolute favourite part of the draft was that the two other GMs in the league who had experienced my wrath last season DID NOT EVEN DRAFT PROPERLY. The one guy who finished last place by about 3000 points, Nave31, actually tried - he has five C on his team - but he couldn't resist the temptation of drafting non-C because of their flashy names. "Oh, I can get Martin St Louis in round ten???? OKAY DONE."

The other guy, the LEAGUE COMMISSIONER, the one who set the fucking rules in the first place, has three C. He's doomed to a sixth place finish.

Why only sixth place for him? Well... one team drafted one lone C - and it's Pavel Datsyuk, who is on the IR and is old and busted anyway. That guy is finishing last, 100% for sure. He also only drafted two d-men! What an idiot. This other guy drafted two C - Stamkos and Hank Sedin - and that's it. Solid seventh place. Some other dude has three C - Tyler Seguin, Joe Thornton and Nate MacKinnon. I'm currently in the process of trying to screw him out of two of those three. Will update accordingly.

But this other team, "go habs go" [real fucking original] is the team to really beat. Not only did he draft a forward corps made up entirely of face-off specialists, he also drafted Dustin Byfuglien to anchor his D. This guy is going to be really tough to take down. I'll have to use all of my cunning.

My panic is subsiding, however. Without even a game played, I'm confident that I'm in the upper echelon of the teams, maybe as high as third, even if I don't try at all. I just need to micromanage the shit out of my guys in order to stand a chance against the top two.

Exhale.