Week two

I ascended my rightful place atop this shit heap of GMs early in the week

But a heavy Saturday from this one ass hat's band of misfit toys took him into first place.

Fortunately Ryan Getzlaf is cool and got me some points on Sunday to help get me back into things.

It's looking like a two whores race right now, but the cock knocker in third place is hanging around just enough to worry me.

There are of course still some positives about this which don't have me worrying really at all

1] I'm better than these turds
2] They are stupid
3] My team STILL doesn't have much production, despite being in 2nd place [5th in goals, 6th in assists], so if my forwards ever actually remember that they should be scoring at point per game paces, then we'll be pretty good
4] I have the worst goalies in the league. They're seriously fucking awful. Cam Ward is like Marc-Andre Fleury in his shittiness, and Devan Dubnyk... what the fuck do you even say about that idiot?

"OH BUT JER, HE'S A 6'5" GOALIE  AND HE CAN STOP MANY PUCKS," you say.

Well I say that I didn't know that they stacked PILES OF SHIT that high.

Sorry, tangent over...

Anyway, my bonehead move of the week was benching Carey Price, who had 15 points last week. But in stats that actually COUNT - I'm dead last in Wins [in fact I've received FOUR POINTS from my goalies for wins - eight points behind the three morons tied for 3rd, 12 points behind the fuckstick in 2nd, and 16 points behind the two ass spelunkers who are in first]. I'm also dead last in Goals Allowed, and I'm sixth in Saves. THIS IS BAD.

But if I get ANY goatlending in the next few weeks, and some production from my overpaid hack scrubs like Shea Weber and Claude Giroux, and maybe some fucking blocked shots, then all will be good.

ONWARD HO